In the "I'm tossing this out for your consideration 'just because I can'" dept?
http://pjmedia.com/instapundit/TEN THINGS NOT TO SAY to someone when they’re ill.
http://thelonggoodread.com/2012/04/22/10-things-not-to-say-to-someone-when-theyre-ill/It's not a bad list- all of us when confronted with some of life's awfulness say foolish things...
But looking back I do believe the single most hateful and hurtful and horrible thing I was told after my first wife had the poor grace to fall dead in my arms was this:
“You're young- you'll get married again...”Admittedly it was said to me by an old troll of a woman whose daughter was responsible for unleashing all that legal Hell on me- seven seven million dollar lawsuits going from coast to coast...
The daughter was one of Helen's Best friends forever- you know, one of those who “loved me so much” when Helen was alive and hated me so when she was dead... I still puzzle over that one- I didn't change- why did they?
“You're young- you'll get married again...”I have never heard more hateful words. Spoken by an old and ugly woman whose chances for marriage again were slim & none...
And I did remarry. And back then I was young & allegedly rich & tall & strong- “good marriage material...” So why did I find those words so hateful & hurtful?
Simply because I knew the truth.Another marriage or another wife? Another girl in my bed or a thousand? None of them would bring my Helen back to me. None.
It was like telling a woman who just gave birth to a baby who died, “well, you'll have other ones....”
Yeah, you will- and none will or can replace that dead one. You love them all. But the others don't raise that dead one up and restore the life they never got to live.
“You're young- you'll get married again...”And you'll have more babies. And they don't restore the ones you lost. So long ago and Oh! So! Very Far!
Away....
-30-