Miss Emily has died

by **backhoe** » 07/ 18/ 10 2:10 pm

Here is a strange one from "my documents"

Titled "Pros" dated August 22, 2007

Pros
Small church, few resources
Good priest
Blended worship, good
Me? I want to play Nice keyboard, worship team?Yeah, I know alone.
I’m not.
Back in the Church, yeah!
Terrified, I’m not what I was.
Dream I had:”But we can’t sing either.”

=============================================================

There is another in a weird file format-- I had forgotten she was making guitar pick holders named "pickpockets" as a sideline- this March:

Tired of frantically searching for your guitar picks
when you’re ready to play?

Do you keep your picks in a pocket,
only to find they disappeared through a hole you didn’t know was there?

Search no longer…

Now introducing the
PickPocket™

Just pin the PickPocket™ to your guitar strap and never search again.

Life Time Guarantee: If the PickPocket™ becomes defective, simply return it to the manufacturer for a free replacement. Guarantee does not include replacements of picks lost by pinning the PickPocket™ upside down.

Safety Warning: Pointy end of pin is sharp.

Manufactured exclusively by Rollinson Enterprises, Inc.

===========================================================

Mysteries remain- why Zoey's 15 ( really 16 th ) birthday was significant to her.
Why her last birthday was disappointing to her- I thought she needed dirt more than flowers that would wilt-- and BTW, I did get her a single rose, like I always gave her when we were dating.

You should have sounded off more, Miss Emily. And left a list of your damned usernames and passwords, too.

by **backhoe** » 07/ 18/ 10 2:17 pm

RedDog wrote:I was thinking about both you and Miss Emily while riding my motorcycle in the sun this morning. I wish you BOTH a beautiful Sunday in the summer.

Thank you, RedDog.

by **backhoe** » 07/ 19/ 10 3:17 pm

Here's her resume from last summer's abortive job hunt:

Emily Haase Rollinson
XXX
912-261-1209 home
912-266-1700 cell

Employment Experience

1999-2007 Office Manager and Registrar
Honey Creek Episcopal Conference Center, Waverly, GA

1992- Present Certified E.F.M. (Education for Ministry) Mentor

1984-2001 Organist
Temple Beth Tefilloh, Brunswick, GA

1983-1999 Organist/ Director of Music
St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, Brunswick, GA

1982-1984 Owner/Operator
Cat’s Cradle Needlework Shop, Brunswick, GA

1982-1983 Organist/Choir Director
St. James’ Lutheran Church, Brunswick, GA

1981-1982 Organist/ Choir Director
Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd, Jacksonville, FL

1977-1981 Associate Flute/ Piccolo
Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra, Jacksonville, FL

1976-1981 Flute Instructor
Jacksonville University, Jacksonville, FL

1974-1976 Organist
St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, Brunswick, GA

1971-1974 Organist
Resurrection Lutheran Church, Brunswick, GA

Education

2003 QuickBooks Class, Coastal Georgia Community College, Brunswick, GA

1976-1981 Jacksonville University, Jacksonville, FL

1976 Honor Graduate of Brunswick High School, Brunswick, GA

Current Ministries/Positions

Active in Cursillo
Diocesan E.F.M. (Education for Ministry) Coordinator
Member of St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, Brunswick

References

The Episcopal Diocese of Georgia
611 East Bay Street
Savannah, GA 31401
912-236-4279

Jim Cox
XXX

The Rev’d. Bob Reese
XXX

Duties at Honey Creek included:

Receptionist
Reservations
Accounting (accounts payable/receivable, payroll)
Event planning and coordinating
Designing and producing brochures for marketing

Duties at St. Mark’s included:

Playing for all Sunday services, weddings, funerals and holy days (organ and guitar)
Weekly rehearsals with the choir
Selection of all music for services
Liturgy planning
Recruiting choir members
Overseeing and participating in a $100,000 renovation of the Moeller pipe organ

by **backhoe** » 07/ 19/ 10 5:57 pm

http://www.freedominion.com.pa/phpBB2/v ... 26#1514626

In the "Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said" Dept?

I just found the tapes Emily played for me shortly before she died.

Her original music.

I do not know if I have the heart to listen to her beautiful voice again, singing.
The voice she lost.

There are cassette tapes, and lyrics on paper.

Those two machines in the shops may still have analog to digital software on them- it's easy to get, in any event.

This old homebrew box I'm using now doesn't have it, or the scanner software, either. Win 2000 may be to antiquated for it.

I have a rack of Nikko stereo equipment I bought from Vernon- that friend and mall neighbor who just died-- that would probably do for playing the tapes-- the deck and preamp haven't been switched on since 1987...

Besides personal difficulties with it, someone might pirate it if I put it on the web-- and yet, I would like someone besides me to know what the world just lost. There won't be any more of it.

"...and I straighten
Miss Emily's picture
on the wall..."

by **Peter O'Donnell** » 07/ 19/ 10 7:32 pm

My friend, I cannot really say that I can imagine your loss -- although life does bring other types of loss into other lives, so from that we can gain some understanding of it.

What I do feel certain about is that you will be reunited, in fact, in some ways you will never be apart. But believe on this, that we will see our loved ones again and that these times of sorrow will be replaced by more times of great joy, for this is the "great hope" of all who believe.

It's going to be tough to turn the page and get on with the mundane and perhaps seemingly empty challenges of the here and now, but you should and you must, when the time is right, set these burdens aside and place them on the strong shoulders of the Lord in heaven, for He has offered us this enormous service.

Miss Emily will be with you through these difficult times too, just in the spirit rather than in the present body. And we will be with you too, let us carry some of the burden. This life is fleeting and no one can say how long we might have -- but there is a life eternal that we are promised (and then joy will return to your life, but for now, at least try to banish the deepest parts of sadness, for there is no ultimate reason for it given that ultimate dispenation).

by **Connie Fournier** » 07/ 19/ 10 9:03 pm

Keep putting one foot in front of the other, John. Many of us are supporting you with our thoughts and prayers. Don't ever give up. God has a purpose for you, and you have important things to accomplish in the future. I bet you'd be surprised what you have singlehandedly accomplished for your country (and ours) already.

But, right now, take your time and go through the grieving process. Write it all out. Get angry, feel sad, organize your thoughts and feelings. But, don't, for a second, think that you are in this alone. :hug:

by **texasredtop** » 07/ 19/ 10 9:12 pm

Connie Fournier wrote:Keep putting one foot in front of the other, John. Many of us are supporting you with our thoughts and prayers. Don't ever give up. God has a purpose for you, and you have important things to accomplish in the future. I bet you'd be surprised what you have singlehandedly accomplished for your country (and ours) already.

But, right now, take your time and go through the grieving process. Write it all out. Get angry, feel sad, organize your thoughts and feelings. But, don't, for a second, think that you are in this alone.

Beautifully said Connie, Amen!!

by **backhoe** » 07/ 20/ 10 2:19 am

Peter O'Donnell wrote:My friend, I cannot really say that I can imagine your loss -- although life does bring other types of loss into other lives, so from that we can gain some understanding of it.

What I do feel certain about is that you will be reunited, in fact, in some ways you will never be apart. But believe on this, that we will see our loved ones again and that these times of sorrow will be replaced by more times of great joy, for this is the "great hope" of all who believe.

It's going to be tough to turn the page and get on with the mundane and perhaps seemingly empty challenges of the here and now, but you should and you must, when the time is right, set these burdens aside and place them on the strong shoulders of the Lord in heaven, for He has offered us this enormous service.

Miss Emily will be with you through these difficult times too, just in the spirit rather than in the present body. And we will be with you too, let us carry some of the burden. This life is fleeting and no one can say how long we might have -- but there is a life eternal that we are promised (and then joy will return to your life, but for now, at least try to banish the deepest parts of sadness, for there is no ultimate reason for it given that ultimate dispensation).

"Peter?"

( And sure, I know who you "really" are, just like folks following these scribblings could "know" who I am-- the anonymity of the WWW is a Chimera, like most things of this world...
A long time ago, a stalker who didn't seem to like much where I stood or what I posted here in cyberspace tracked down enough information to subscribe me to a Gay Male Porn Site...
A Chinese Gay Male Porn Site...
When their offerings first popped up on my computer, I was puzzled, then amused... showed them to Miss Emily-- who thought it was hilarious { she certainly was "down to earth," and a little bit dirty- an "Angel with a dirty face..." }
Then a simple email to the site got me removed... and tracking down the stalker with a simple "I found you- quit spamming me" put a stop to that nonsense...)

I know- as much as I "know" anything-- that she's in a better place...

Moved on...

Flown to the Sun...

But it's so hard, even so. I'm old and tired and aching, and she left me with a quarter century of memories that mean something... only to the two of us- and half of that flew away...

Like all my dead, I carry her in my Heart, and will as long as I live...

The music inside me died when I buried my K-9 partner back in 1990-- but I still see things in terms of melody and rhythm and lyrics...

http://www.sam-hane.com/sass/songs/05.htm

Deep within my heart lies a melody,
A song of old San Antone.
Where in dreams I live with a memory,
Beneath the stars all alone.

by **backhoe** » 07/ 20/ 10 2:38 am

texasredtop wrote:
Connie Fournier wrote:Keep putting one foot in front of the other, John. Many of us are supporting you with our thoughts and prayers. Don't ever give up. God has a purpose for you, and you have important things to accomplish in the future. I bet you'd be surprised what you have singlehandedly accomplished for your country (and ours) already.

But, right now, take your time and go through the grieving process. Write it all out. Get angry, feel sad, organize your thoughts and feelings. But, don't, for a second, think that you are in this alone.

Beautifully said Connie, Amen!!

I thank you both.

A couple of things I used to tell my now-absent First Mate?

"Any day
you can stand,
and walk
and talk
one more time?
That's a Good Day..."

"The end of the day
is like a plane crash...
...if you can walk away from it...
...it's a Good One..."

by **Peter O'Donnell** » 07/ 20/ 10 2:55 am

In my experience with sad things, and that is not inconsiderable, there always seems to come a time when everything finally goes still, like the calm center of a hurricane, and a realization settles in that this event is "over" and that something new is beginning. It's hard to say when that might happen in any given challenge we face, but it always does seem to come, especially if we will allow "Him" to take on our burdens.

I find it irritating when people remind me that God only tests us to the limits of our abilities. But knowing that anyway, I will throw that into the mix for your consideration, and reflect on what must be a greater ability than most of us might possess.

There are different kinds of tragedy too. For me, the tragedy that never really finds resolution is the disconnect between my work and the profession I was educated to work in. That's hanging around my neck and I don't get any final release from that burden either -- there's nothing God can say that will cause it to vanish from sight and not exist any more. So I tend to look at it as part of the human condition, a small detail in the general puzzling fabric of the imperfect free will experiment, where bodies wear out, minds lose their spark, injustices don't always get magically resolved in the last five minutes before the next show starts, and the bad guys sometimes win.

Perhaps it makes it a little more tolerable to realize that everyone else is in the same general mess, especially the good people, I mean consider all the trials and tribulations of the folks on this forum alone, the constant lawfare attacks, the health concerns stalking so many of us, the emotional difficulties, for some the pain of being alone whether due to bereavement or self-exile ... and yet we do sense the wonder of our creation. We have each other, which seems to be something that as rugged individualists, we feel perhaps shy about celebrating or even acknowledging.

There is no weakness in seeking out the mercy of the Lord. I'm sure the strongest people here have all done it, and will do it again.

by **backhoe** » 07/ 20/ 10 3:06 am

Peter O'Donnell wrote:In my experience with sad things, and that is not inconsiderable, there always seems to come a time when everything finally goes still, like the calm center of a hurricane, and a realization settles in that this event is "over" and that something new is beginning. It's hard to say when that might happen in any given challenge we face, but it always does seem to come, especially if we will allow "Him" to take on our burdens.

I find it irritating when people remind me that God only tests us to the limits of our abilities. But knowing that anyway, I will throw that into the mix for your consideration, and reflect on what must be a greater ability than most of us might possess.

There are different kinds of tragedy too. For me, the tragedy that never really finds resolution is the disconnect between my work and the profession I was educated to work in. That's hanging around my neck and I don't get any final release from that burden either -- there's nothing God can say that will cause it to vanish from sight and not exist any more. So I tend to look at it as part of the human condition, a small detail in the general puzzling fabric of the imperfect free will experiment, where bodies wear out, minds lose their spark, injustices don't always get magically resolved in the last five minutes before the next show starts, and the bad guys sometimes win.

Perhaps it makes it a little more tolerable to realize that everyone else is in the same general mess, especially the good people, I mean consider all the trials and tribulations of the folks on this forum alone, the constant lawfare attacks, the health concerns stalking so many of us, the emotional difficulties, for some the pain of being alone whether due to bereavement or self-exile ... and yet we do sense the wonder of our creation. We have each other, which seems to be something that as rugged individualists, we feel perhaps shy about celebrating or even acknowledging.

There is no weakness in seeking out the mercy of the Lord. I'm sure the strongest people here have all done it, and will do it again.

Well, Peter, I've heard that "God only tests us to the limits of our abilities" since I was a kid, and my response has always been,

"Yeah, the insane asylums are full of 'em..."

Yes, I've always been a questioning, irreverent Son of a Bitch... but then, so was Miss Emily... a running dialog between us-- forever stilled, now-- was

"Well, if God didn't want you to ask the question, why did He give you a mind to reason it out?"

by **backhoe** » 07/ 20/ 10 5:26 am

I'm going to throw something in that I don't quite know where it fits...

In American law, a "contemporaneous note"-- one you wrote, signed, and dated, is admissible evidence-- that's what a policeman's notebook is considered.

The last long note Emily left me was about a disturbance she witnessed at nite-- I am posting only the last page, as the first two contain names and rough language-- suffice it to say we have some folks who don't like black people and who torture animals.

It is one reason I keep a shotgun handy...

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v117/rollinson/img003.jpg" height="262" width="211">

by **backhoe** » 07/ 20/ 10 7:08 am

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/ ... s?page=421

“That’s a reality in my life, too.

Good job, backhoe.”

I wrote this after I lost the first one, but I think it applies to both ( from memory, I may have written it a little differently elsewhere )

My lady smiles at me
far across infinity
from another time
another place
so far
Oh! so very far away

And in my dreams
I see her still
tall and proud
I always will
alight with love
she gave it well
alight with life
she lived it well
her song was full
and tho it’s stilled
I loved her well
I always will

by **backhoe** » 07/ 21/ 10 3:47 am

I remember this story well-- Sammy's a good guy, with a wicked sense of humor:

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

"Sammy's Mailbox"

A few years ago, the post office decided to regulate the placement of mailboxes in our neighborhood. Our next door neighbor, S, knew he couldn’t win against the post office but decided he would have some fun with them. This is a summary of his monthly correspondence with them:

PO Letter: You must move your mailbox in compliance with the new rules…
S’s Response: I don’t want to.

PO Letter: You must move your mailbox in compliance with the new rules…
S’s Response: I like it where it is now.

PO Letter: You must move your mailbox in compliance with the new rules…
S’s Response: It’s always been where it is now.

PO Letter: You must move your mailbox in compliance with the new rules…
S’s Response: I can’t. I live in the historic district and moving the mailbox would endanger the historic nature of the mailbox’s location.

PO Letter: You must move your mailbox in compliance with the new rules…
S’s Response: My lawyer likes it where it is now.

PO Letter: You must move your mailbox in compliance with the new rules…
S’s Response: My mail man knows where the mailbox is now. What if he can’t find it in the new location?

PO Letter: You must move your mailbox in compliance with the new rules…
S’s Response: I really, really don’t want to.

The post office finally sent S a letter stating that on Monday, a man would be sent to move the mailbox to its new location in compliance with the rules. On Sunday, S dug up his mailbox and moved it to where it was supposed to be and carefully cleaned up the area so it looked like it had never been moved. On Monday, the post office guy arrived.

PO Guy: I’m here to move your mailbox.
S: I think it’s okay where it is.

The post office guy carefully measured the distance from the curb, distance from the house and shook his head in puzzlement.

PO Guy: This mailbox is exactly where it should be
S: That’s what I’ve been saying.
PO Guy: Well, all I can do is fill out this form and tell them you are in compliance with the new rules and maybe they’ll quit harassing you.
S: Thanks.

by **backhoe** » 07/ 22/ 10 5:41 am

From Emmy's Doc folder... I cannot believe how badly it hurt me to read this... I remember... a small life, trying to live... I never knew so many things about her, until it was Too Late, to do anything about them...

I may tell you what I learned, too late, here, or at Letters to Miss Emily-

I may not- they are so personal, and she is so dead... beyond this World, its cares... beyond fixing. All a Dead Letter.

Here are her words:

"Small Miracles" Friday, March 20, 2009, 9:58:04 PM

Small Miracles

It’s the small miracles that save me every day- and have for years. The big miracles are welcome but tend to be overwhelming. And sometimes I over-think them.

Today’s small miracles:

My purple ornamental kale is flowering- I didn’t know it did that. It’s gorgeous.

A couple of Jehovah’s Witnesses came by. Cole likes them (they’ve been here before when Backhoe was outside). Cole jumped at the fence in his usual Golden Retriever excitement but when one of them said “I’d like to read a scripture”, Cole sat down quietly and cocked his head to listen. Afterward, I explained to him that we are Episcopalians.

I have wildflowers blooming. I find a new one each day. It’s amazing.

The wind touched my face today and I felt the touch of God and I smiled.

Miss Emily has died

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