Alberta joke

[Wlyonmackenzie]

Two boys are playing hockey on a frozen pond in Red Deer, Alberta.
When one of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his hockey stick, shoves it under the collar, twists it, and breaks the dog's neck, saving his friend.

A reporter is strolling by, sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Flames Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal." He starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Flames fan." The little hero replies. "Sorry, since we're in Alberta, I just assumed you were." Says the reporter and he starts writing again. "Oilers Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack." He writes in his notebook.

"I'm not an Oilers fan either." The boy says. "Oh, I assumed everyone in Alberta was either for the Flames or the Oilers. What team do you root for?" the reporter asks. "

I'm a Maple Leafs fan." the boy replies.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes "Little Bastard From Ontario Kills Beloved Family Pet."

[Ipberg]

What's with the Maple Leafs being unable to win the Cup since 1967?

[Roughneck]

What's with the Maple Leafs being unable to win the Cup since 1967?

It's karma.

[Harry]

Liked the joke. going to send to friends in Alberta and Ontario. Thanks.

[Mark Fournier]

[Right-Wingnut]

Are you a Liberal, a Conservative or an Albertan?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question regarding this hypothetical situation :

You are walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock .40 caliber and are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?





THINK CAREFULLY!...AND THEN SCROLL DOWN











Liberal's Answer

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Where did I put the Firearms Registration? Hope it's up to date

Does HE have a gun? I wonder where HIS Registration is?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behaviour.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days, call Stephane in Ottawa or is he in Paris this week and try to come to a consensus.

.................................................................................................


Conservative's Answer

BANG!

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Albertan's Answer

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click!!!

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"

Wife: "You are not taking that to the Taxidermist!"

[littleharbour]

[Dave from Alberta]

Good joke, but I would much prefer to be armed with a .45 cal 1911A double stack. Good reliable firearm with 10 rounds of mucho stopping power.

Should be standard issue here in Ab!