"It's Friday Night at FD"

[styky]

Unbelievable opulence in this day and age and I'd give me eye teeth to live there.

http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/05/18 ... te-island/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixtSdVArJNc

[RedDog]

[styky]

It's time for a friday chuckle. Note.......put your coffee down before reading this exchange

Australian - Troll
http://www.amazfacts.com/2012/05/austra ... -pics.html

[styky]

The Baptist Church Dinner

A group of friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. She decided to have mushroom-smothered steak, but because the mushrooms were so expensive, she told her husband, "No mushrooms. They are too high."

He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed."

She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."

He said, "Well, I see varmints eating them, and they're OK."

So Janet decided to give it a try. The next morning she picked a bunch, cleaned and sliced them for her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Ol' Spot ate every bite.

All morning long, Janet watched Ol' Spot, and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal that evening was a great success. Janet had even hired a lady from town to help her serve.

After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played '42' and dominoes.

About then, the helper lady came in and whispered in Janet's ear, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot is dead."

Janet went into hysterics. Finally, she calmed down enough to call the doctor and tell him what had happened.

The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quickly as possible. We'll give everyone enemas, and we'll pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep everyone calm."

Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.

One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.

After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now," and he left.

They were all sitting around the living room, looking pretty weak, when the helper lady came in and whispered to Janet, "You know, that fellow that run over Ol' Spot never even stopped.'

[RedDog]

The marriage proposal to end all marriage proposals:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... v7QrIW0zY#!

[styky]

A bumper sticker you just have to have...........

[styky]

And if you're in to cooking come Friday try this. Amazing.

Prepare Fresh Corn on the Cob Without Those Pesky Corn Silks
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Yn ... e=youtu.be

[Fairwarning]

Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys.

Rum and ice will ruin your liver.

Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart.

Gin and ice will ruin your brain.

Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth.

.....well, there ya have it. Ice is very unhealthy!

[styky]

The marriage proposal to end all marriage proposals:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... v7QrIW0zY#!

That was fabulous. I got teary eyed.

[RedDog]

The marriage proposal to end all marriage proposals:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... v7QrIW0zY#!

That was fabulous. I got teary eyed.

Indeed. Fantastic. Anyone who hasn't seen it should take a look. There is still goodness in life.

[styky]

New High School Exit Exam

(Passing requires only 4 correct answers)


1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?


2) Which country makes Panama hats?



3) From which animal do we get cat gut?



4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?



5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?



6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?



7) What was King George VI's first name?



What color is a purple finch?



9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?



10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?






Remember, you need only 4 correct answers to pass.


Check your answers below . . .





ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert

What color is a purple finch? Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?Orange (of course)



What do you mean, you failed?


Me, too.


(And if you try to tell me you passed, you LIED!)


Pass this on to some brilliant friends, so they may feel useless too.

[free_life2]

Crossing The Border Thru Canadian Customs


A guy traveling through the USA on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification.


Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the Canadian Customs Agent at the border.


"May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent.


"I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replied the guy.


"Sure buddy, I hear that one every day. No ID, no entry," said the agent.


"But I can prove I'm a Canadian!" he exclaimed.

"I have a picture of Celine Dion tattooed on one side of my butt and Shania Twain on the other."


"This I got to see," replied the agent.


With that, the guy dropped his pants and showed the agent his behind.


"By golly, you're right!" exclaimed the agent. "Have a safe trip back to Ottawa."


Thanks!" he said. "But how did you know I was from Ottawa ?


"The agent replied, "I recognized Stephen Harper in the middle."

[goldhound]

You figure it out

[fourhorses]

A Jewish Story


A Jewish businessman in Chicago decided to send his son to Israel to absorb some of the culture of the homeland. When the son returned, the father asked him to tell him about his trip.

The son said, "Pop,I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I
converted to Christianity."

"Oy, vey,"said the father. "Vot haf I dun?"

He decided to go ask his friend Jacob what to do.

Jake said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel, and he
also came back a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi and ask
him what we should do." So they went to see the rabbi.

The rabbi said,"Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel. He
also came back a Christian. What is happening to our young people?
Perhaps we should go talk to God and ask him what to do."

The three of them prayed and explained what had happened to their sons
and asked God what to do.

Suddenly a voice came loud and clear from Heaven.

The Voice said,"Funny you should ask. I, too, sent my Son to Israel. . . . .

[fourhorses]

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Virginia. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:

"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.
What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?
It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people.
Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general... and all in the name of humor!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells,
"You stay out of this! - I'm talking to that little shit on your lap!"