Miss Emily wrote:
...Summarizing shorter because I’m crying again.
Mama died peacefully this morning at 11:45.
I can’t type anymore. Please tell the Bishop and anyone else who wonders where I’ve been...
God love you, Hon... I can see, better than anyone here, the world of agony you suffered.
I did what I could... I guess it wasn't enough, it never is, but I did try.
I told you that when your Mom "went" ( started to die ) it would be fast, trying to prepare you as well as I could. But you still sounded so shocked when you called me and told me she'd died.
I guess we all, always hope, that at the last minute God or somebody will pull a rabbit out of the hat and save the day...
Everyone cheats Death repeatedly, except that one last time.
Zoey had to go out at three-- a normal time. Cole barks his head off at nothing I can see- you sure didn't do me any favors spoiling him rotten.
I looked up the Tramadol the Vet gave me, and darned if it isn't a codeine analog- 50 milligrams of it-- no wonder the old girl was sleeping so much yesterday!
I'm going to split the morning pill in half, and see if she gets enough pain relief-- the directions are one every 12 hours, but I only gave her the one tablet in the morning. She sleeps like a log at nite, so I can't see any advantage to giving her one in the evening.
I guess I can "unrig" 'our' car for transporting old dogs now-- her ear looks fine, except for the oddity of buttons all over it, and in a pinch I can lift her in to the truck if need be...
I guess finding all those essays of yours in your "misc" folder was a godsend-- it means I can keep "died" going for a while without digging thru and scanning you papers...
On that other hand everyone talks about? In a few days, you will "have gone away" two months... some point comes, to "move on..."
To figure out, to quote you, "what do I do with what's left of my life?"
Just a heartbeat ago, it seemed like life stretched out forever in front of me- so many choices, so many possibilities, so many things to do...
...so much time to do it in.
Now? "...the days grow short when you reach September..."
http://www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/frank ... _song.html
love you, Hon
wish you were here
wish I had known, so many things, sooner
keep thinking about Pennick Road
and the last time I went there, long ago
when you were alive and our marriage was new
years & miles, time, flowing like a river
johnny loves you
johnny is very tired of the hurt