"Letters to Miss Emily..."

[backhoe]

And the spoof I did...

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v117/rollinson/maulers.jpg">

[backhoe]

Oh, and just by the way, folks?

The copy is a Joke, Son-- parody, spoof, jape, jest-- do not take it ( very ) seriously...

[backhoe]

Minor notes, from

A life, Interrupted?

Screwing around in "our" car, trying to see if there's any way I could transport Zoey
( Maybe, if I can fill the footwell in front of the seat with something firm... )

I discovered there's a "port"-- a cigarette lighter like tap-- in the console I had never notices before. I'll be dogged...

[Theresa]

I don't want to interrupt the flow if your writing but for the bursitis-Ibuprofen (aka:Advil)-has strong anti-inflammatory, taken with the codeine should stop the aching pain. An Anesthetist once told me it is the best drug on the market.

How old was she when she was raped ?

[backhoe]

I don't want to interrupt the flow if your writing but for the bursitis-Ibuprofen (aka:Advil)-has strong anti-inflammatory, taken with the codeine should stop the aching pain. An Anesthetist once told me it is the best drug on the market.

How old was she when she was raped ?

From you, it's not an interruption-- I already take aleve to keep the rheumatoid arthritis at bay-- it flared up so badly last year I couldn't even open letters, but ( pleasant surprise ) trying aleve actually made it seem to go away.

She was ten, Theresa... I wrote about it a while back. If only she had remembered a lot sooner, things would have been different. I think.

[backhoe]

Well, Miss Pretty, another day winds down-- seven weeks ago, I beheld your face, alive, for the very last time.

There is still a part of me that can't quite grasp all this- how swiftly you were snatched from life, and how everything- everything, is changed.

I realized the October 15th deadline for that tax extension is closer than I thought-- sure hope you put everything in that one hidey-hole I saw. I'll give it to Mr. Martin, and hope for the best-- you know how tax stuff freaks me out- that's why you did it.

A storm came thru, and the radio seems to calm Zoey better than the TV-- she laid down on my side of the bed and went to sleep.

I cut the foam bolster in half-- the one on the daybed in the darkroom- and jammed it in our car's footwell.

Then I cut a piece of plywood to top it, so Zoey can't fall in. We shall see. I'm going to tell the vet to use her best judgment- lance, or open the ear and tie the vessel off. Also have her check Zoey's weight, and her hips-- her gait still does not look OK to me.

I found more of your "stuff"-- some cartoons you drew, a cross you hand carved, your push dagger that you carried in "our" car, and put them on the card table in your studio.

Honey, I don't know what to do, about anything. I don't even know what I'm doing, sometimes-- I raise face, and sometimes fists, to God & you & the Heavens above... and? I just don't know what I should do.

"You picked a fine time to leave us, Lucille..."
( And one of your middle names was Lucy... )

Damnation, girly...

Well, I have a now-seventeen year old dog to transport at 8 tomorrow morning, so at least I can do that.

Sleep tight cutie, but pray for your johnny-boy, he needs all the help he can get.
You, better than anyone, knew how much trouble I had making my way in the world, and being a functional adult.

[Theresa]

TEN !!! Did you write about it on this thread ? How did I miss it?

[backhoe]

TEN !!! Did you write about it on this thread ? How did I miss it?

Yes, ten.

My poor little girl... let me fetch you the links...

"Letters to Miss Emily..." :: Free Dominion ...

http://www.freedominion.com.pa/phpBB2/v ... 28#1516597

"Welcome to the Dark Side... and no, we don't have cookies... "

http://www.freedominion.com.pa/phpBB2/v ... 00#1516600

"The note..."

http://www.freedominion.com.pa/phpBB2/v ... 76#1518176

"Pennick Road Angst”

It's just one of many reasons her death has hit me so hard- to hear her talk, in private, you'd think she was as uninhibited about sex as any modern woman.

But with me?

Ice.

I never could please her. And she'd never talk to me about it- just go silent...

Now- too late-- I understand.

If "time" had not run out on us, I think we could have worked this out.

I really thought she did not like me, at some very basic level-- to her her talk, about other men, you'd have thought she had a very good time in bed with every single one of them... why not with me?

I tried- really, I did, but at some point, since she would never talk to me about it, I just lost interest.

If only I had known...

If only she had remembered sooner...

My
poor
little
girl...

[Theresa]

I am speechless.

I realized I was following the int ital thread but not this one.

[backhoe]

I am speechless.

I realized I was following the intital thread but not this one.

I told you ( all )

there was a Dark Side...

There always is, to any story.

Meanwhile, the dogs got me up on this morning when Miss Emily died seven weeks ago, at the time Cole poked me awake and led me to her corpse in the bathroom...

I let him sniff her, so he'd understand she was dead, but...

He still waits in the back yard, where her pool once was, for her...

At least, he's quit jumping up every time I come "home" and staring behind me, looking for his Momma...

"The surgeon
knows nothing,
but does everything...

The psychiatrist
knows everything
but does nothing...

The pathologist
knows everything
but<b>
it's always
one day
too late..."
</b>
Too late, my baby
too late...

[backhoe]

"...and I straighten
Miss Emily's picture
on the wall..."

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v117/rollinson/Emshelly021.jpg">

[Edward Kennedy]

TEN !!! Did you write about it on this thread ? How did I miss it?

Yes, ten.

My poor little girl... let me fetch you the links...

"Letters to Miss Emily..." :: Free Dominion ...

http://www.freedominion.com.pa/phpBB2/v ... 28#1516597

"Welcome to the Dark Side... and no, we don't have cookies... "

http://www.freedominion.com.pa/phpBB2/v ... 00#1516600

"The note..."

http://www.freedominion.com.pa/phpBB2/v ... 76#1518176

"Pennick Road Angst”

It's just one of many reasons her death has hit me so hard- to hear her talk, in private, you'd think she was as uninhibited about sex as any modern woman.

But with me?

Ice.

I never could please her. And she'd never talk to me about it- just go silent...

Now- too late-- I understand.

If "time" had not run out on us, I think we could have worked this out.

I really thought she did not like me, at some very basic level-- to her her talk, about other men, you'd have thought she had a very good time in bed with every single one of them... why not with me?

I tried- really, I did, but at some point, since she would never talk to me about it, I just lost interest.

If only I had known...

If only she had remembered sooner...

My
poor
little
girl...

I am not a psychologist although I have behavioral scientists in my client list and have had long talks with some about specifics I have encountered im my existence.

The human psyche is an amazing thing, and it remains that baggage in anyone's existence is a bar to a clear uninhibited existence in many areas of one's life. Such roadblocks are rarely the fault of anyone else, save the imposers of such baggage who originally upset the apple cart so to speak.

Thus you are guiltless and without fault in this context without question.

The perplexities and complications of a victim's existence who has been targetted and victimized by sexual assault imposes a great penalty on the victim as well as on those around her after the fact. I see this as the case here, and the reason why rapists merit the death penalty...the crime is an "ad continuum" in many cases, psychologically speaking.

[backhoe]

I am not a psychologist although I have behavioral scientists in my client list and have had long talks with some about specifics I have encountered im my existence.

The human psyche is an amazing thing, and it remains that baggage in anyone's existence is a bar to a clear uninhibited existence in many areas of one's life. Such roadblocks are rarely the fault of anyone else, save the imposers of such baggage who originally upset the apple cart so to speak.

Thus you are guiltless and without fault in this context without question.

The perplexities and complications of a victim's existence who has been targetted and victimized by sexual assault imposes a great penalty on the victim as well as on those around her after the fact. I see this as the case here, and the reason why rapists merit the death penalty...the crime is an "ad continuum" in many cases, psychologically speaking.

Edward, I thank you-- but I still remain

Baffled?
Troubled?
Plagued with... what? Regrets? Guilt? Misery?

If only she had remembered much earlier- like at the beginning of our life together and not almost at its end-- much might have been different.

At least, I would have tried.

When she said, "I love you," after a few years of what I described, my answer was usually,

"Huh?"

Because I was trying to reach her- what I really meant, to speak bluntly was,

"Well, if you love me so damn much, why won't you screw me like you did all those other men you like to talk about?"

And yes, I put it that bluntly to her.

And all I got was...

Silence...

Now- too late--

I know why.

[Edward Kennedy]

I am not a psychologist although I have behavioral scientists in my client list and have had long talks with some about specifics I have encountered im my existence.

The human psyche is an amazing thing, and it remains that baggage in anyone's existence is a bar to a clear uninhibited existence in many areas of one's life. Such roadblocks are rarely the fault of anyone else, save the imposers of such baggage who originally upset the apple cart so to speak.

Thus you are guiltless and without fault in this context without question.

The perplexities and complications of a victim's existence who has been targetted and victimized by sexual assault imposes a great penalty on the victim as well as on those around her after the fact. I see this as the case here, and the reason why rapists merit the death penalty...the crime is an "ad continuum" in many cases, psychologically speaking.

Edward, I thank you-- but I still remain

Baffled?
Troubled?
Plagued with... what? Regrets? Guilt? Misery?

If only she had remembered much earlier- like at the beginning of our life together and not almost at its end-- much might have been different.

At least, I would have tried.

When she said, "I love you," after a few years of what I described, my answer was usually,

"Huh?"

Because I was trying to reach her- what I really meant, to speak bluntly was,

"Well, if you love me so damn much, why won't you screw me like you did all those other men you like to talk about?"

And yes, I put it that bluntly to her.

And all I got was...

Silence...

Now- too late--

I know why.

Most people, myself included, live in hindsight, but we should not punish ourselves for our own insufficiencies, misjudgments, and shortcomings.

As I said, I sold a waterfront lot recently and it was a profitable item, however, had I at the time invested the $$$ I used to buy the lot, in blue chip dividend paying stocks, I would have made eight times the profit.

Things can always be better, or worse, in our existences and I comprehend the situation in oyur case perfectly.

One cannot be all things to anyone, especially to one's own self.

You will grapple with this issue but will eventually wrestle it into submission, and there will be no bell to save it. This is one item that you will not, and cannot afford to ignore, nor would I were I in your position.

It often falls to the innocent to deal with the injustices of the perpetrators, in this case, that have been imposed on her and then through her, on you.

Neither meritted the task.

[backhoe]

Well, Miss Emily, I just got back from taking Zoey to the Vet's. She got in your car OK, but she shivered all the way there.

The Doc has a very nice home, with a separate clinic, down a long winding drive, past a lake, another house, and some animal pens. Tractor beside the clinic ( you know how I have tractor envy since we had to sell ours for food that time... ) and we were the only ones there besides her & her assistant.

Of course the "about $300" had turned into about $400 with the teeth- and she said she hadn't lost one that age yet, but there were no guarantees.

I agreed to all that- I figure one way or another, she'll be better off.

Expect to get her after 4, if all goes well.

For whatever it means, when I showed Cole the papers she gave me, he poked and wagged, like it's a good thing. Let's hope so.